Episode 3: Promoting Resilience in Direct Support

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Chet Tschetter

Hello and welcome to the podcast on Wellness Matters for direct support. This is a podcast developed by the University of Minnesota's Institute on Community Integration, Wellness Matters for direct support. We'll focus on the importance of health, wellness and self-care for direct support workers. My name is Chet Tschetter, and I'm an national workforce consultant, and I'm also a direct support professional.

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Chet Tschetter

I'm here with my colleague, Mark Olson.

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Mark Olson

Hello, I'm Mark Olson, and I am also a consultant, primarily a trainer in person centered practices and some other items. And I too have spent a lot of years doing direct support.

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Mark Olson

Today we have a guest who is a friend of mine who I. I met actually doing theater. And, you know, theater is one of those things where, you meet a lot of really cool people, and you run into people who you share work lives with. Because oftentimes when you do theater, you got to have a different job to make ends meet.

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Mark Olson

And so let me introduce Sam Hedden, and I will have her introduce herself a little bit more and why she's interested in the topics that we're talking about. Wellness.

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Chet Tschetter

Sounds great.

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Mark Olson

Sam.

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Samantha Hedden

Thank you. Mark. Thanks for having me. Thank you. Chet. My background I have a master's in education. It focuses on curriculum writing. I also have a license to teach science. Like Mark said, I've got a varied background. It includes, science, music, Cedar Public speaking all across the board, which is great. Makes you for a well-rounded person.

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Samantha Hedden

The reason I got into looking at resilience and mental health was because I had to deal with my own mental health, but I was also a para for students for years, and I worked with a lot of kids and a lot of educators who were also dealing with some mental health concerns or issues. And I realized, well, I can take my master's degree.

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Samantha Hedden

And this was before the pandemic, and I was like, somebody should research this because there's a lot of educators struggling, and educators can be anything from day care teachers to primary secondary teachers. Paras. There was a lack of support and understanding that these folks were in a very high stress situation. And that's when I wrote my thesis on.

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Mark Olson

And thank you, sir. I mean, one of the things that I was taking, I extrapolate a little bit because anybody that's in a position where they're supporting others to live the lives they choose. So you spoke of the education realm. Many of our listeners, work with adults with disabilities. Some of them work with students. Some of them work, you know, across the whole age range.

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Mark Olson

Yet the resilience pieces that you've studied are things that apply to everyone that's doing one of those roles and applies to everyone who they support. So let's get started with our list of questions. And we're we're going to I'm going to ask you the first one, kind of a softball. How do you define resilience?

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Samantha Hedden

Resilience is a skill that helps somebody adapt or be able to be flexible or, have the ability to deal with trauma or difficult situations. And resilience is not always an innate skill. Oftentimes it's something you have to build up, and it's something you always have to work on because it's like any other tool that you'll lose it if you don't practice it.

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Samantha Hedden

And it's something that I realized doing research, it's a skill set that is more prominent in certain places than others, but it should be something that we're learning constantly, all of the time, just for our own mental health and well-being. It's a lot of practice, a lot of awareness, acceptance, and a lot of change in perspective.

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Chet Tschetter

Sam, you mentioned that you need to learn different skills and you need to kind of keep sharpening them, utilizing them so that you've got them when you need them. You studied resilience in your master's program. Can you talk more about what you learned?

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Samantha Hedden

So not just from what I researched because that was big, because that was applicable like in the real world. But also I had to take a few rounds of DVT therapy. If any of the listeners have ever taken DVT or know someone that's taking DVT, I'm sure they hear about these skills often.

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Chet Tschetter

Can you define what DBT therapy is, please? Oh boy. You know.

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Samantha Hedden

Okay, I will try to say this. Dialectical behavioral therapy. You learn to sit with your emotions, how you can manage your emotions. Be able to radically accept things the way that they are, and then you can work on your behavior. Some of the steps to do that is accepting what is real, knowing real versus imaginary, which for some people, they make up stories in their head all the time.

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Samantha Hedden

I know fuels like anxiety, which is frustrating, and making up stories is difficult. Giving yourself the chance to build relationships with therapists, friends, loved ones, chosen family, self-care. The whole idea of put your oxygen mask on before you help someone else with theirs. And having an opportunity to change your perspective and take that step back.

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Samantha Hedden

Okay, so this is what's happening. How can I change this in my head and change the outcome by changing my behavior?

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Mark Olson

So without DVT, one of the things that I'm I'm hearing then is it there is a certain interpersonal concept that's involved. And you spoke of family, chosen family, all these different people that are a part of someone's lives. Share with me a little bit of a story about, because I know you're a storyteller, just like I've known you long enough to know that, share a story about how you've seen some of that interpersonal effectiveness really impact something.

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Samantha Hedden

The biggest thing that comes to mind for that's boundaries. So a lot of times having good interpersonal skills is being able to have healthy boundaries for yourself. So back in the day because I'm, you know, obviously not turning 34 tomorrow, I was at an inpatient treatment center for an eating disorder and mental health for myself. And one of the things that we worked on was, what are your boundaries?

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Samantha Hedden

And if someone crosses them, what do you do? There was a lot of work on how you can communicate with somebody about, hey, you did this and I'm not okay with that. Could you not do that? And if they keep doing it, how do you effectively walk away for your own well-being? So having interpersonal communication skills, interpersonal skills people always seem to think it has to do with talking.

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Samantha Hedden

Sometimes it has equal amounts to taking a timeout and taking a step away from a relationship of whatever kind. So that's something that I had to deal with because I've had to do that a few times. Whether it's no contact or limited contact and then being able to uphold that.

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Mark Olson

So what I'm understanding when I hear that is it there's a certain part of getting in touch with yourself that has to happen.

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Samantha Hedden

That critical awareness speaks.

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Mark Olson

And you need to be able to take care of your own emotions so that you can interact in that in person with that interpersonal effectiveness.

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Samantha Hedden

Exactly. You have to be aware and fun fact, because I know this is coming. One of the there is a book that, I had talked about and one of those things is be impeccable with your word. And that has a lot to do with looking did that introspective type work, looking at yourself and then sticking with what is true to yourself.

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Samantha Hedden

So knowing yourself is the first step and having that awareness of who you are. That's a lot of work.

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Mark Olson

And the name of that book again is.

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Samantha Hedden

The Four Agreements.

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Mark Olson

Okay, the Four Agreements by Michael Rees. And, you know, Sam recommends that and there is a number of pieces in that that we'll probably talk about as the day progresses. So.

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Chet Tschetter

Sam, while you were talking about healthy boundaries, I think as direct support professionals, sometimes that drawing that line and having that boundary can be really difficult because we're supporting people sometimes in their homes and their job. We're together a lot. And so sometimes keeping those healthy boundaries for ourself can be really difficult, but really important. Would you have any suggestions if you feel if a DSP feels like they're getting too involved in, they're not really, listening to those inner messages that are saying, this doesn't feel quite right.

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Chet Tschetter

I need to make sure that I protect me and, and, and that sort of thing.

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Samantha Hedden

Well, I think it's one of those things where seeing a therapist is always good practice, even if you see one once a month, twice a month, they're always great. They can help listen and guide somebody, having a relationship with a manager or somebody that maybe is above you in some way and working on that relationship. Because sometimes, and I've seen people have to do this where they're like, hey, this line is for me is getting grayed out and I'm not sure what to do.

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Samantha Hedden

Maybe me working in this environment isn't the best fit for me, and then trying to come up with a game plan for who might be a better fit, or am I better fit somewhere else, and having the chance to work with coworkers or somebody like that to maybe find a better fit?

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Chet Tschetter

Or even, I was thinking coming up with the words and the language to explain the boundary with the person that you're supporting. In a way that's kind, but it's clear as well. And that way you don't need to leave where you're working or leave your person. But you are setting up your own boundary and taking care of yourself.

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Mark Olson

So you worked as an ad para, which is what I would say is probably very similar in many ways to what I direct support professionals do. Was there ever a time when you actually, ran into this or saw someone that you were working with running into that whole boundary concern issue?

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Samantha Hedden

I worked with a kiddo who was placed in a room that they very obviously shouldn't have been placed there. They needed a much higher care facility. And where they were at, and they placed me with them for, temporary assignment, which was fine, like I'd worked with other children and various degrees of mental health abilities. And, this young man would get very physical, and he didn't really understand that he could hurt someone.

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Samantha Hedden

He was bigger. He was just about to enter high school and it got to the point where I did have to be vocal with my peers and say, hey, I may have to talk to you guys about helping me because there are certain things I can't do. And that was kind of back to that awareness. I was like, I can help so much.

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Samantha Hedden

And then I'm like, I can't help past here because it makes me uncomfortable. And so we had come up with a plan to take care of the kiddo and help them out during the school day and still get their needs met, but also making sure we were in a mentally and emotionally safe place as well.

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Mark Olson

So activating activating the supports you have around you and the importance of that became a key piece of that as what I'm hearing.

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Chet Tschetter

So I just love that that communication piece of asking for help from those around you. Or for a, from a therapist. It just so you're not there by yourself and there are others around who will help.

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Samantha Hedden

Which asking for help can be really difficult because who knew that pride gets in the way, sometimes asking for help. Is the best thing that you can do for yourself. Even if it's, like the last thing you want, you don't want to do it, or you don't want to feel like a failure. Thing is, is that.

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Samantha Hedden

You're failing people if you're not 100% the best version of yourself. And sometimes that requires a little assistance. And humans were designed to be social creatures. We were designed to help support each other and realizing that you're like, hey, okay, so it's a village, not just me.

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Chet Tschetter

Yeah, I love that.

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Mark Olson

What gets in the way of being resilient?

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Samantha Hedden

A lot of people from research for my thesis is it took a lot of time. It wasn't just a one day course and bam, you're like, perfect at it. It was something you do once a week or you have to practice daily. And once we talk about some of these books, they talk about always do your best. Sometimes your best is going to be 100% Superman.

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Samantha Hedden

I've got this. Sometimes your best is going to be 10%. I'm eating a bag of chips on the couch and watching like some kind of TV show. For the next 12 hours.

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Mark Olson

We'll go off hallmark movie for this time of season.

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Samantha Hedden

Absolutely not. Okay. But it's it's one of those things where things that get in the way is time, energy, money sometimes also can be a big deal. Even like your own mental mental mindset, sometimes your mindset is a big block to how you could, move forward with that.

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Mark Olson

And you talked about being a social creature, which is very spot on. In my experience in life, that's truly the case, even though I tend to be an introvert, there are times when I just have to be social. So it's it's one of those things. But are there people I mean, you mentioned therapists. You mentioned colleagues. Are there other people in folks lives?

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Mark Olson

It might be a really good year for them.

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Samantha Hedden

That chosen family I talked about you and I met doing theater. Yes. That's kind of part of our chosen family. And we also do improv. That's another version. Finding those connections with friends or with coworkers or with family, maybe even your boss, which maybe they're your coworker directly. Maybe they're, you know, just someone that you work with occasionally.

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Samantha Hedden

Sometimes. Sometimes just going to a coffee shop and starting up a conversation with a stranger. You'll never know where it ends up going.

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Mark Olson

Right in sometimes. I mean, I tell me if I'm wrong here, but, I know that until my sister passed, she was one of my biggest ears. When I had something that I needed to, to really get off my chest. Even since she's passed, there are times when my mindset goes to, what would she do? What would she do in this situation?

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Mark Olson

And so even though she's passed, she's still a part of my circle. And, you know, I think that that probably speaks to one of the things in the Brené Brown book about faith and in some of those pieces and that, you know, we all find those different walks for that.

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Samantha Hedden

So a lot of times I end up journaling when I was going through DVT courses for myself and going through therapy now, just for maintenance, I do a lot of journaling. So I have a whole journal just with these lists. So gratitude things I'm grateful for. But at the bottom, always jot down a note to the universe or the higher power or whatever someone wants to call it, just about, you know, this is where I'm at.

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Samantha Hedden

This is where I'd like to go. Like, I would really appreciate any type of, like, you know, any type of vibe that I can get that might, you know, lead me in whatever direction I'm supposed to go. So far, it's been working. So, I mean, hey, there's got to be something to that, right? Great.

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Mark Olson

Absolutely, absolutely.

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Chet Tschetter

I like to think of myself as a fairly resilient person, but there are times when I know that that resilience has has worn down. And I think this time, after all, we're still in a pandemic. Officially. But I think I'm worn down and other people are worn down. How can we learn to be more resilient? And what are some of those skills?

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Chet Tschetter

Sam?

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Samantha Hedden

Learning to be resilient. Like I said, it's a skill that takes a lot of practice and a lot of patience. The self-care self-care part is do something you love. Take the time out, make sure you've scheduled something that you enjoy that you know you can wipe down and kind of just do, taking the chance to take a class, learn something new.

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Samantha Hedden

Sometimes that can make a big difference for people like me where I'm, like, always looking to learn something or research something. That's my kind of thing. Opportunities for growth, sometimes for older folks, taking the opportunity to go help others is more of their refresher. It's a lot about, it's like when you buy those what were they called?

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Samantha Hedden

Cut cutco knives. And you have to, like, really like, sharpen them after so long. It's kind of like, re sharpening that blade over and over again. It seems monotonous. Sometimes you don't want to do it, and you're going to roll your eyes every time you feel like you have to, but you're going to get a much better outcome if you keep with it consistently.

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Mark Olson

Well, one of the things that that brings to my mind is rituals. And how rituals can be a part of grounding us two.

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Samantha Hedden

Routines are important to them. I would like to say that I'm more of a free for all, but even I have my own routine. I get up every day. I go to kickboxing, I make a cup of coffee, and I built myself a routine that I was comfortable with. Other people have different routines, but yes, routines are a big deal, especially for feeling, you know, more grounded or like down to earth sometimes that helps one.

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Mark Olson

For me, one of the things that I've gone back to recently, and maybe it's because I haven't even thought of it in this way of being resilient, but I've gone back to making my coffee the way I used to make my coffee, which is a real process. And there's a there's a think time that goes along with it.

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Mark Olson

So I'm going to do the pour over instead of using the carrying of the office. And that pour over gives me time to kind of plan my day and kind of figure out where I'm at that day and if I'm going to be that person that's, you know, that's that superpower 100%. Or if I'm at the point today where, hey, you know, just showing up is going to be the best I can do.

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Samantha Hedden

And I think routines help with that. I, I know quite a few people who their days immediately, just like flushed down the toilet. They're like, I didn't I didn't do this right this morning and this didn't happen the way it's supposed to. Which brings me to the next thing is, how do you change your perspective? That's a skill that you really do need to have to build that resilience, because sometimes things are not going to work out the way you want.

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Samantha Hedden

And you have like the worst luck ever, and you're going to like walk under every ladder and have every black cat, although they're adorable, like cross your path and God tell you, you really have to be able to take that step back and be like, whoa, I need a timeout. That's what I call it. At home. I'm like, if I'm having one of those days, I'm like, I need a mommy timeout.

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Samantha Hedden

I love you because I have a seven year old, an 11 year old, and I'm like, but I need a break. Like I need to. Mommy needs to go sit down and maybe cry. Fun fact crying is really good for you. People should do it more often.

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Mark Olson

It's release and they should laugh as well.

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Samantha Hedden

Well that too, yes. I'm hoping that there's a good balance. Both now you know one the other.

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Mark Olson

But yeah, I mean I mean I'm a bit of a sports fan in the whole of foundation had its thing going on recently. And one of the things that Jim Valvano said was, you know, you should laugh every day and you should cry every day. And then you've had a full day, you know, you it's getting in touch with the emotions that are a part of who you are and making sure that you're taking care of yourself in that manner.

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Samantha Hedden

Right. That balance DVT is all about where is that happy medium, not one or the other, but that nice happy Goldilocks spot, you know?

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Mark Olson

And as far as the black cat goes, if a black cat crosses my path, I pet it.

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Samantha Hedden

I know. Yeah.

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Mark Olson

You really I mean see.

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Samantha Hedden

Change in perspective.

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Mark Olson

That's where I change your perspective immediately. I have a pet cat.

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Samantha Hedden

That's like, oh, it's fluffy, I want it.

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Mark Olson

Now is hurting.

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Samantha Hedden

But it's funny how all these things are connected because DBT is distress tolerance, interpersonal and emotional regulation. So look at that.

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Mark Olson

It's all it's all a part of it. It's all a part of being human.

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Samantha Hedden

Don't mind me.

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Mark Olson

All right. So let's see, where were we here. What recommendations do you have to learn more about being resilient?

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Samantha Hedden

The internet's a really good tool, Let me rephrase it. The internet can be a really good tool. Turns out, as much as I don't like TikTok, sometimes there are pretty decent videos. And people teach these little mini skill sets. Sometimes, if you know how and what to look for, and you go to reputable sources, there's a lot of like advocacy places that will have done some kind of talk or education, and a lot of times they'll post them for free on their websites and they'll be like, hey, we just did this talk.

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Samantha Hedden

Check this out and they will out a lot of really good information and resources. And a lot of times that's a really good way to learn more and find more ways to help yourself out.

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Mark Olson

Well, one of the things that I always think about there is that there are great pop culture resources out there. And I think that, you know, many of us glom onto Brené Brown because there's a lot of really good information there. And my vision of her is that she's done some of the research. Now, as far as some of the other research goes, I mean, did you ever use Google Scholar?

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Mark Olson

Is one of your places where you would,

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Samantha Hedden

Google Scholar was my best friend. Regular Google would have got me in so much trouble. Right? But yes, Google Scholar is great. And then it's nice having the chance. And I wish that they would have, like, a general community course in this on how to search for specific things using like Google Scholar. Or there's more reputable sources because most people are like, I went on Google and I'm like, no, go to Google's, go.

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Mark Olson

Well on Google Scholar. I mean, for those that don't know, I mean really just Google, Google Scholar. And it what you do that sounds weird, but Google Google Scholar and you'll you'll actually get to the Google Scholar page, where then it does take you to things that have had some sort of peer review. It takes you to some other things that maybe haven't had a peer review, but are our best practice types of things that may be out there.

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Mark Olson

And you can run into things like like, you know, there's so much out there to do now knowing with direct support professionals, much like anybody that's doing a Human Services related thing, time is of the essence. So some of the some of the pop culture things, if you take them with the grain of salt and say, you know what?

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Mark Olson

That helps me to get through my day. It may not be the end all be, you know, scholarly wise, but it helps me if I think that way. There's nothing wrong with that either. Right. But if you really want to research it, going to places where you'll you'll get the peer reviewed pieces are important.

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Samantha Hedden

I've learned podcasts as well nowadays are a really good tool. I mean, not that it's because we're doing one because, you know, that's pretty cool. But, podcasts in general, there's a lot of people that have a lot to say, and that's a really good platform to hear other people's stories. Like, I have an autoimmune disorder that has to do with my thyroid.

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Samantha Hedden

So there's podcast that I listen to and it's usually about, you know, how did it work for this person? How did it work for that person? And then how do you tailor that to yourself so well?

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Mark Olson

And I can just one more story about resilience and part of why I met you soon. Oh, part of why I, I gained resilience and because of a health issue I had, in part because I started taking, say, how am I going to deal with stress? Stress was my biggest thing, and that was when I connected with theater and now improv.

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Mark Olson

And in the things that we do outside of the work environment that you and I as friends are enjoying together and that chosen family sort of way are the types of things that you can do now. A direct support professional find something that distresses you. When I was doing direct support regularly, one of the things that I did, because I also started off as a musician, I would take my guitar with me to work, and there were times when I could step away and play, but oftentimes my playing helped others be more resilient as well.

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Mark Olson

If I was playing and singing a song, people come and sing along. I even got to use it with folks I was supporting because of course my boss heard that and like, well, let's do some music to to to support them. Folks were supporting as well. So it ended up being a win win. I was using one of my talents and skills both to heal myself.

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Mark Olson

Then it also the game became a healing piece for others. So do you have anything else that you would like to share with us about some of the research pieces that you ran into? And we've talked a little bit about Rene Brown. We've talked a little bit about Michael Rees's book. What other things did you run into that were really probably good resource type ideas?

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Samantha Hedden

Oh, I think for anybody working with anybody, I think it's really helpful to give yourself that quiet time. We live in a culture nowadays where everything's always busy and everything's always go, go, go. So even if you can take five minutes to just step back and practice that mindfulness and have a check in with who you are will make a huge difference.

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Samantha Hedden

Because sometimes you go so fast that you're kind of numb to the things around you. And I think people forget that a simple walk in, like the sunlight, the simple moment of just quiet moments and reason through a lot of hums and noises around that can do a really big difference to your mood, your energy, and it can help you take that time to just be like, okay, here's where I'm at.

00;28;48;07 - 00;28;53;14

Samantha Hedden

I'm doing okay. So that one five minute break of just quiet is nice.

00;28;53;18 - 00;28;58;17

Chet Tschetter

Well, in concert there can be little things that you can do within your day that can help build you up.

00;28;58;19 - 00;28;59;03

Samantha Hedden

Yep.

00;28;59;06 - 00;29;23;11

Mark Olson

Yeah, absolutely. Well, and, in another one of our podcasts, when the person spoke of some of those types of things, in some of them, it is just, just some mindful breathing. It's amazing how we don't breathe properly often. And when we don't breathe properly, we don't feed our brain the oxygen it needs. And we don't feed our heart the oxygen that it needs.

00;29;23;14 - 00;29;28;04

Mark Olson

And it ends up being really kind of hard on us health wise.

00;29;28;07 - 00;29;45;25

Samantha Hedden

Well, that simple breathing. Let's learn that a lot. DVT, it slows your heart rate down and then it helps helps lower your stress so you can lower your heart rate. You can lower your stress. And if you can lower your stress then you think more clearly.

00;29;45;27 - 00;29;48;16

Chet Tschetter

So great. It's all connected.

00;29;48;19 - 00;29;49;00

Mark Olson

It is.

00;29;49;04 - 00;29;53;06

Chet Tschetter

We all just breathe in deeply.

00;29;53;08 - 00;29;58;01

Mark Olson

Okay. No no no no no I'm not actually, it just was too easy.

00;29;58;04 - 00;30;03;02

Samantha Hedden

You know what she is? Because the doors open doesn't mean you walk through it.

00;30;03;02 - 00;30;12;16

Mark Olson

Like, you know, I do a little more often than I probably should, but that's just just the humor. Check. Did you have anything else that you would like to ask Sam or would like to add?

00;30;12;16 - 00;30;16;02

Chet Tschetter

We just like to thank you for being here with us today. I've learned a lot.

00;30;16;04 - 00;30;23;20

Samantha Hedden

No, thank you for having me. And I love doing this kind of stuff. And maybe one day I'll go back to public speaking and that would be amazing.

00;30;23;20 - 00;30;32;08

Mark Olson

Yeah, I cannot wait to see you doing the, Well, what is it? Those those videos. Oh, goodness. Why am I zoning on what they're called?

00;30;32;11 - 00;30;34;10

Samantha Hedden

That's so scary. But keep.

00;30;34;10 - 00;30;44;01

Mark Olson

Going. You know, one of the fancy ones that, you know, like everybody does, where it's, you know, these are just them on the microphone and they're just talking to your next Ted talk.

00;30;44;01 - 00;30;47;05

Samantha Hedden

Thank you. I would love to do something one day. That'd be so.

00;30;47;07 - 00;30;53;07

Mark Olson

You know, I'm I'm, you know, I'm I'm not a young man anymore. It was in there just in the very back of the file drawer.

00;30;53;07 - 00;30;56;29

Samantha Hedden

I think it's on my bucket list. I would like to do one one day.

00;30;57;01 - 00;30;58;08

Chet Tschetter

Then you will.

00;30;58;10 - 00;31;36;07

Mark Olson

You will write on that note. Thank you again, Sam, for being with us and sharing your expertise and your, research and just sharing humanness, because that's what we all are. That's who we support. That's who direct support professionals need to realize that they are two. You're not the superhero. Be the direct support professional, but be human first and really share with each other and support each other to live the life that you want to choose as well, not just supporting folks that we support to live their lives.

00;31;36;07 - 00;32;24;10

Mark Olson

So on that note, tune in for future episodes about taking care of our physical and mental health. Episodes are available on one of your favorite podcasting streaming services. This podcast is produced by the University of Minnesota's Institute for Community Integration. It's by and for DSP.